Dear Rick..

Recently I decided to block Rick from my Instagram and also his GF. You might think I am unstable. I think 70% yes and 30% I need to block him.

I don't know what kinda misunderstood we are but I feel something is really really makes me want to away from him. I am very disappointed and hid it for many many years. 

First of all,

I was the one who silent treatment him and he sent me a VN I couldn't reply. That time my heart ache of what he did. By lying to me and it wouldn't be that bad if he honest from the start about he spoke to another Indonesian girls. So in that time I am gonna be secure and of course I will make myself not fall in love to him before he said something like all youngers want to hear

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Thats what supposed he say. But what I found his instagram commented 😍  by another Indonesian girl who I believe she's from central Java. She's a girl who wore very nice religious cloth but she changed for the thing I know, she moved to Bali because her mother marry an Australian man. Also while I saw her instagram and feel like..

She changed to be aesthetically brown skinned style. I mean yes, people changed but what she done more crazy and attention grabbing in some pics.

Let's call this girl Rick hid from me years ago "Becky" if Beyonce said "Becky with a good hair" I call her "Becky with.." but hey, what's good thing about her? I DON'T SEE. I mean I checked her Instagram, I found that she just a girl who tanning a lot. Just call her Becky lah..

Becky and I never spoke and yes, I was the one that got away from Rick and I never want it ended with blocking his instagram like I did yesterday.

So, now Becky dated another foreigner..

Rick date a girl,let's name her "Lily" I don't know her background but from the pics I see.. gosh..

Am I the only one that doesn't like taking pictures in beach, I mean I had many poses but I like taking photos in rooms other than nature. Later on,

I saw Lily's name after it appeared on Rick's phone. In that time I dated someone and my ex knew I will go with Rick for meet up,but..

I live in Southeast Asia, where Caucasian will be the focus,mostly. 

Saw the name and look at her Insta, in same date where Rick told me he came to Indonesia for seeing the concert I don't know and I never have interest to watch concert. Because I am introverted myself and hate crowd with loud sounds. But I am ok to watch cinema because cannot see people in the dark. Only the light from screen and movie played.

Our met up not that good.

Things happened,

I never see his Instagram and I restrict him so I won't have any chance for him to see my new posts and stories. Its like my way to be nice to someone I feel weird.

While I am having my instastories, he appeared everytime he updating his instastory. The red circle in his profile that appear as someone seen me makes me want to know. It's like..

Does he want to take revenge or what? Coz for me.. I forgive him already but please act or do something nice. Do not try to make me feel uncomfortable by the way you making some alert of updates.

He probably will liked my stories or recent post (if it's like days ago post he will absolutely liked it) if he post pics. He will sign and alarm me. Yes, I know you are graduated from number 1 world best university but you acted like 14 for attention. We forgiving eachother but.. we will never together, Lily might going to be your future wife, I always pray for that and wish you best.

I never wish but I know he wants my attention, from the way he always showed up in my instastory if he updating something. I mean, a friend told me restrict will work and make him almost impossible to see my instastories or posts appear on his screen or notification except if he search my profile. CMIIW.

So, last night I decided to block him and Lilly. Even she never see me as what Rick wanted, stupid idea from a guy who graduated his master in best university.

Then how to deal with if Rick knows one day I block his Instagram?

Of course, if he contacted me I will telling him I am always feeling uncomfortable with him after meet up and another invitation to go with Lilly. Shit.

You think I will? Nah.. once the professor named Gwen Stefani says "uh oh.. eat my shit" . That the best words for them.

You just jealous thats why you block him!

If you say so, yes. Satisfied? First of all.. if I am jealous of his happiness with Lilly, I never did. Trust me, when I saw that he brings her to many countries, I am ok with that but one thing I never forget is,where I say .. I love Thailand, I will be there one day to meet my friend,Guang, to Rick. I FEEL LIKE... YOU TRY TO MAKE ME MAD AND JEALOUS BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT? Damn,Rick.. I understand your way of revenge. You didn't really amicably peace with what happened.. 

I know Rick will read it,because I know he will. Sorry, I block you. 

I been bear hurtful thing from what happened, even when I had my boyfriend with me you kept chat me and when you were in vacation with Lilly to an Island I forgot the name. You even texted me with many words towards to you feel not excited with Lilly at first,because..

You did not open your phone during you walk with me. Except for maps. You even decline the text from Lilly that time. While I was updating what I did to my (ex) boyfriend. Coz he wanted me to be safe. 

For all things happened to us in past, I am sorry if I were so childish. I just an early 20 year old girl. And I used to be angry for reason in past.

Finally, if you need a help from me. I might never gonna show up in your world, and I am hoping you will found best girl/wife you wanted. Also..

Did you make this Korean girl follow my account (saw she follows you,lilly and your mom)? No you don't need to answer by try to contact me. But well, she's still my follower. If she's part of your life and she will say something.

Okay lah.. time for making another useful entry. Story end. Thank you for being part of my life and taught me,not all smart people have smart decisions. If you keep trying to contact me, I will take all your stories up, and I hold all your secrets~