hey kid(s) this is your ibu..

if you have hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia please do not come here, this is a phrase for someone that has trauma for long words/sentences. who found this name? what a fucking relate to me. my brain capacity destroyed and I don't know how to read the phobia's pronouce tbh. I was thinking maybe this is afraid of hippos but I was wrong.  well let's to the topic.. 

 I never tell people I am having trauma in some things, many fears I own but never mention it. 

today I will telling you top 3 things I wish I never see,hear or touch. well, if you one of someone that hating me. read it fully! because I know if someone hating someone, they going to mind unrational things like.. they going to find how to make you uncomfortable. l.

well, I feed your satisfaction, Hater(s) for telling you these 3 things I afraid of. before I explaining the fears I have, I want to tell you that I thought I was the only one that having afraid with these 3 things but..

there's plenty people having the same fears and name them. like Thalassophobia means you have fear of deep ocean and the brain of people with Thalassophobia gonna started to make kinda hallucinate and thinking there's monsters in the deep of the ocean. so I been find of what my phobias name..

but I am sorry, I can't show you the pictures, because maybe one day I bored and re-read what I've write on my blog then see things I hate, I will started to thinking about it like all of the day.

Hemophobia

I don't know where it's started but when I was a kid, I remember I injured my fingers with cutter, yes, the moment happened when I was so young, I bleed a lot when my finger sliced and blood came out. but maybe this is one of my parents' way to make me stop playing with cutter. and I started to be afraid of blood. plus, in that era.. I think in 2001-2002, no blur for blood and I believed the cringe and low budget of SFX makeup were real but when I grow up with the Hemophobia, I started to be afraid of blood and anything I watch in a series of punishments, I forgot the name but this series were aired with fake blood things. but I found this is weird to be honest, during me growing up...

I had my first period at my Uncle's house, to be honest that time I feel something bad under my navel area, like I was walking and the uterus area started to feel so hurt inside, but in next day. when I see my toilet paper, I was shook and cried (maybe, because I have bad memory).. 

I saw little drop blood on my paper towel when I need to wipe my ass. in that day I felt I need to covering it,then my mind was stupid I put lot of toilet paper inside of my underwear, oh gosh... stupid me. since that time I won't be affraid to my own blood and I am ok if I found myself on period or maybe the heat too hot and I started to have nosebleed, I am not afraid anymore. 

but, if I see someone bleeding or injured till blood come out, I will actually run and never want to help, I am sorry for this commitment, because I am so afraid of people's blood. I'm used to see doctors took my blood for tests, like days ago I am ok with blood taken for checking what really happened to me. the vein  around my arm was injected and blood taken. 

so please, do not blame me if I couldn't help people's dying on street after an accident. also, if I been told like that is fake blood, I won't feel that scary because I kinda watch some of movies with gore. but after told it just fake blood and only showed on screen of TV or Phone, I am still scare but not as scared as if I see in real life. 

Rambutanphobia

I don't know if this is what it's called. but my relation to rambutan started from childhood phobia later on my brain thinking THIS IS ONLY FUVKIN RAMBUTANS!!!! but later on, I just feel unconfortable and my puberity mind making me thinking the spoiled rambutans will looking like a black and reminds me of ballsack with pubic hair. I know, I know.. you will say I am dirty minded, OF COURSE... 

hehehe... but yea, Rambutan is one of fruits I don't like. okay then.. it's not an interested story. but who else thinking rambutans do look like men's balls with hairy but ARGHHH.. I feel uncomfortable. bye.

ah... okay maybe only those two. another phobias I won't tell, because I worry someone who doesn't like me play with that because it's out of the topic, I worry if I walk alone down the street and a pervert come and open his cloth to show the dick.. oops.. okay lah, enough, I am afraid too with someone who does exhibition shits. bye... this is the real bye for 2023!!!!!!